Dilema

I feel like shouting out loud here. But I cant. Coz I know this is too public. Tho nobody will ever read all these craps that I wrote anyways. 

But...

Arghh. I am desperate for a hug right now. But I cant have one here. Not right now. I dont know. I know there is something fishy going on around here. But I never thought that the news is... 

Now I kinda feel grateful. But I was kinda scared. But I somehow feel sad too. I just dont know how to express it. Damn it.

I kinda know how you feel.

But I dont exactly know how it feels.

Stay strong you girl.

Rindu Padamu...

kenapa moody sayang??

anak mama !!

comelnya !! :')

run along, baby !!

jom rempit sama !! :O

anggunnya adik. 

comel laa ketap bibir camtu?? :')

lincah sekarang ye??

us !!

sakit tapi bahagia?? :O

pak ngah !! emo. hahaha

baby !!

innocent.

animal lover. 

Aku terlalu rindukan hambaMu yang bernama Ayra Nurqalesya ya Allah.

Terlalu. Teramat. Sungguh.

Indescribable.

You gives me a heart to love somebody O Allah. And now this love is growing stronger and stronger. I sometimes just cant bear with it O Allah. This love is too painful. I cant see her growing. I cant see her walking. I cant see her playing. I cant see her laughing. I cant see her jumping.

At some point, she would not even know who I am. When i get back, if and only if i get back to Malaysia, which I dont want to, she would have start going to school and such. My presence would not have any significant in her life.

Sometimes I feel as if it is better for me to not exist in her world at all, completely. I love her too much.

IDK.

It is all up to You O Allah. You know what's best for us. Please sends this abundance love of mine to her O Allah.

Thanks Allah, for bringing her into my life. :')  

Muslim Itu Saudara

"Kamu semua orang Islam. Kita semua saudara. Sepatutnya cubit paha kanan, paha kiri juga terasa. Mana janji manis kita berkata, "Muslim itu saudara"?"

tersentap. tersangkak seketika. apa yang aku dah buat untuk bantu mereka?

kemudian, ini pula datang menjelma.

cerita bermula minit ke 2:49. lihatlah sehingga ke penghujungnya. sila fokus pada minit ke 4:03.

kemudian, aku termangu sendiri. yg mana satu kah yg ingin aku jadi??

BURUNG kah??

BI kah??

CICAK kah??

berfikir secara rasional, ya, semua orang akan pilih...

BURUNG !!

tapi, bila kita buat refleksi diri, kita sebenarnya yg mana satu?? tepuk dada tanya diri.

sendiri tanya pun, hanya mampu tersedak. :/

now, dgn berita hangat tersebar ttg kawan-kawan kita kat GAZA sana, apa yang kita dah buat? no. apa yang aku dah buat untuk bantu dorg?? emosi pasal hal duniawi?? yang xmungkin aku bawak mati?? :O

akan tiba suatu saat, Allah xkan tanya sama ada aku mampu jatuhkan Israel atau tidak. tapi, Allah akan tanya, apa yg aku dah buat untuk sekurang-kurangnya menyumbang dalam kejatuhan Israel itu.

Every problem has its own solution. What matter the most is not the SOLUTION. but THE JOURNEY IN FINDING the solutions.

Another example:

Problem: Takde duit nak beli makanan.

Solution: Money money money money~ MONEY !! *gaya the apprentice*

How we find the solution: 

1. Mintak mak?? mak tak bagi. 

2. Mintak abah?? abah suruh mintak mak. which the answer is "NO".

3. Seluk poket, rembat duit mak?? atau merayu kat mak?? atau pecah tabung??

so, basically, the solution is important. but how we get the solution is much more important. 

FAHAM TAK??

hmmm. xfaham jugak?? buat-buat faham dah lerr. -_-

Kasot puteh...

Kasot puteh.

If and only if you know him. :O :O :O

Short

Out of desperation, depression, loneliness, sadness, confusion, guilt...

And all the bad things that u can combine together...

I cut my hair.

Blaming You?? :O

More than a year has passed since we met and know each other. It was a bliss knowing you. It really is a bliss. I dont know why. I dont know how. Maybe some part of me, there is something wrong.

I am not blaming you, my dear friend. I blame myself. Not you. I cant deny the fact that sometimes I do feel lonely. Away from Malaysia. Away from Malaysians. But that is my choice. I CHOSE to live far away from them. I CHOSE to despise them. In the end, i feel lonely and keep complaining about it. But who's to blame?? Isn't it me?? That's obvious right?? 

Some part of me want to be alone while the other part dont. I choose to be further away but at the same time, I dont want to. I dont know. I am confused. 

I... I... I... 

It is too complicated to understand. I cant even understand what am I thinking at times.

Ignore me. -_-

Iqra

To be loved, you have to love others.

To love others, you have to love yourself.

To love yourself, you have to know yourself.

To know yourself, you have to know your Creator.

To know your Creator, you have to read the Quran.

Iqra