Disappointed.

Welcome new readers, welcome to you all. :)

These past few days have been very interesting to me.

So many things that have happened. Both good and bad. Curious, aint you??

Hahaha

Well, one, I would say, I reconciled with my past. I am now learning to embrace what had happened to me, what had hurt me. I am now starting to learn how to love, trust, belief.

I am just like those baby seedlings that you plant in the soil. Learning to feel the soil, the water, the sun.

I am learning how to appreciate myself, how much value that I worth. Not just some kind of sampah masyarakat anymore. I am learning how to love God too, though He's been loving me for so long that sometimes I didnt even remember Him.

I have never been happier. These past few days was a blessing to me. I totally appreciate it.

However, just like Madison's weather, thunderstorm came along out of nowhere. Yepp. That's Madison. All my happy fantasy that I am now released from the shackles of the past, was now grind to dust.

I never knew such bad stories had been spreading around about me. Well, some part might be true, some not. Or the whole part was the truth, or none at all. We never know. You never know. How do you know it is the truth?? The ultimate truth?? 

"Nayy. Doesnt matter as long as it is controversial."

"Nayy. Doesnt matter as long as somebody tells the story, it happened anyways."

I am really disappointed. Totally disappointed.

Nobody came to me for the ultimate truths. Yet they believe those stories of stories of stories... And God knows how many "on stories" are there in the thread.

It is like "ABC". If I knew "N", I must definitely knew "A" till "M". I must definitely knew them. I must definitely do it. Is it always like that though?? Your call.

I wont say anything. It is all up to you. Whatever I said doesnt matter anyways. As long as you believe it that way.

Separuh penuh atau separuh kosong??

The same analogy applied to this one. Doesnt matter what I think, or what others think. It is just depends on how you see it anyways. And your reasoning behind that, and your justifications to make believe with yourself. But never really to the source of the story itself. 

It is always, always, ALWAYS like that anyways. So why bother??

To those who stayed, during my ups, but mostly downs, I love you guys. Only God knows how to repay you all, in building a human being to this world. Only you guys that hold me, though with a teeny, tiny, hair-like thread, able to keep me sane, that I put my hopes to. Thanks for the shoulders to cry on. Really really appreciate it especially now. :)