A Story Behind It...

Well. It is just a continuation from yesterday's story. Okayy. I joined IV's events. I really had fun. The sense of belonging by being with them is soooooo strong. It is just that I feel so loved. They love me. I love them so much. I dont know why but I dont feel the same way whenever I am around "my kind". 

So basically, during that day, they invited a man to give a talk, and yes, the topic was about the Timothy verse, then they sing 3 songs for their beloved Jesus which are All To Us, Cornerstone and another one song which completely slipped out of my mind at the moment. 

Bukan nak cakap apa laa, but rentak lagu tu mmg sedap wa cakap lu. Tak caya, dengar laa sendiri. Masa dorg nyanyi tu, aku goyang kanan kiri gak laa ikut rentak dia. Tapi aku xnyanyi sekali, afraid that those things would make me admit their fact about their loved ones. 

But the most touching part is that when I looked at their faces while singing, something struck me from the inside. I was like literally jaw-dropped. Sangatlahh khusyuk mereka menyanyi. Nampak ikhlas sangat muka, I totally can feel that they really sang those songs from the bottom-estestest of their hearts.

Then, tiba-tiba hati terasa sayu dan pilu. Sangat sedih. Sangat sayang akan mereka, even more than "my kind". Tapi bila tengok mereka sangat percaya dengan apa yang mereka ada, I feel really sad to not be able to be with them in the Afterlife. Coz I know that no matter how much I love them, we just wont be together at the end.

That was the first part. The second part is that when I looked at the song, the meanings behind them, they are something that you could easily understand, as you could feel it while you sing it. Then suddenly, I remembered everything that I have back in Malaysia, what we have in Islam itself, about our culture, how we culturize (not sure if this word even exist) Islam, etc. Depa dok nyanyi, depa faham, depa hayati. Then I looked at myself. I dont even know Arabic to begin with. And then, tho we have all those supplications for Allah, our prophet Muhammad, I dont really know the meaning behind it, something that can make I feel it deep inside my heart. I was dumbstruck. Sad overwhelming. 

Reflect lagi diri sendiri. Time azan pun main2. Ada kita nak dok hayati and hormat ?? Time nasyid pun kita main2. Ada kita nak hayati maksud disebalik nasyid tu sendiri ?? Al-Quran xyah cakap laa. Pandai2 sendiri laa fikir. Dah besar kann.  

Sad on how I used to take things for granted. Sad on how I used to ignore all the little things that actually part of the BIG things. 

There is still lots of things that I want to talk about here. But it will just make the post long and boring. So, most prolly there will be a part 2. Maybe. Remind me if I forget. InsyaAllah.